Hospital Prankster Gifts

'BOy! Talk about organ rejection!'

"Okay, Mr. Collins, let's see how that old heart of yours is doing."

"In the current donor crisis. We've had to be somewhat resourceful..."

'He can't stand the sight of blood.'

Doctor and nurse having a chat.

Scary surgery

'I'm afraid the surgeon couldn't perform your operation, because you weren't wearing clean underpants.'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Just give me the truth, Doc...I can tell when you're trying to humor me."

'It seems your heart replaced the 'Boom-Boom' beat with a funny ringtone!'

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

'That's strange. It seems your blood pressure is up when nurse takes it, yet when I do...'

In a hospital "Along the corridor, second on the left....then follow the blood.

"Relax, Mr. Jackson! Yes, I am here to shave you... but not your 'cool stache'!"

"Ok, it's a wrap, let's stitch up and hit the... hang on a tick..."

"Everyone loved working with Doctor Patel... Beer!"

'The good news is that you're delusional.'

"Hey. When we he wakes up, how 'bout I talk but you make the faces."

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'First the bad news Mister Pringle.You're going home today...

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'And here's one of the kids.'

The cosmetic surgeon was renowned for his wicked sense of humour.

"So laughter isn't the best medicine..."

'Court's in recess!'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

Disorderlies

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'