Medico-legal Buff Gifts

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Sue the Author 3PM

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Planet of the Lawyers

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"I think it's a subpoena!"

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Ignorance of the Law

Upholding the Law

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

'I know just how you feel.'

Judge

Executing Detainees Using Waterboarding Evidence

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

"My agent."