Horse Tamer Gifts

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"Keep calm woman - you're making him nervous."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Litter Tray Training

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Parenting Business Deals

New Swiss Army Knife

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Dentist Training School.

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Education Guidance

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

"Most projects require three hands."

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'Where did we go wrong?'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

"And for your entree, sir?"

'I ate three cloves of garlic before the show: Check the Tamer's expression when he puts his head in my mouth...'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

Circus Act

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'