Dragon Tamer Gifts

'How would you like to help out at my campaign kickoff barbecue?'

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

A midwife holding a baby

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Litter Tray Training

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Crying baby

Parenting Business Deals

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Education Guidance

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

Quiet Time

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'