Horse Tale Enthusiast Gifts

'I am Prince Fiffleniffle II, my lineage can be traced back 300 years and I am worth millions.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'I'm too hot to trot.'

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

ONE HORSE TOWN

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'What's founder?'

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

Stubborn Horses

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

Horse Clean-up

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

'It's a hybrid.'

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'