Horror Hound Gifts

A typical Monday. Zombie Truck-Driving Maniacs! South Pole Penguin Love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

'Ooh that was fun dear! Let's do and see it again tomorrow.'

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Love at First Sight

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'... And this is my cellar.'

Night of the Latkes

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Dead Funny

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Chiller Theatre

Silence of the Chickens...

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Night of the Zombonies.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"The Eggsorcist"

He looks so natural lying there...