Horror Homebuyers Gifts

"The boy sure likes it!"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

'Is the fire included?'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

We're looking for a house with a bigger crawl space… Realty.

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

It's nice, but we were hoping for something unfurnished.

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

Catchment Area for Teachers

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

"I know we don't have a garden, but I panicked!"

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

'Fancy living here with the in-laws until we find a place of our own?'

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

Sign reads - For Sale Still Under A Million.

'The owners are prepared to accept any reasonable offer.'

'Are you sure now is the best time to buy an inflatable house?'

New HOSTILE Mortgage Company

'No windows. You wouldn't want windows in a town like this.'

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

". . . So why, exactly, was the price drastically reduced?"

'Well it was here yesterday... the owner might of taken it down for security reasons'

Passer-by see sign in front of house: Buy one, get one free.

It's a buyer's market.

"It's all I could get."