Comedic Homebuyers Gifts

We're looking for a house with a bigger crawl space… Realty.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'Is the fire included?'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Dang! The water's expired.' (Spring Water).

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

Catchment Area for Teachers

'Fancy living here with the in-laws until we find a place of our own?'

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

Sign reads - For Sale Still Under A Million.

'Are you sure now is the best time to buy an inflatable house?'

'The owners are prepared to accept any reasonable offer.'

'No windows. You wouldn't want windows in a town like this.'

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

". . . So why, exactly, was the price drastically reduced?"

'Well it was here yesterday... the owner might of taken it down for security reasons'

"Thank goodness I'm only renting."

"This place, like the last one, has one big window that's also a door."

"It's all I could get."

'Every time I stick my head above water, my life flashes before my eyes.'

On shirt--You must make this much to afford this place.

For sale - 50 off.

Igloo For Sale: No Termites! NO Carpenter ants! NO fleas! No mice! No rats! Absolutely pest free!

"And here's the basement – or as I see it, the poor man's French Riviera."

'What - the whole house is flooded? Great! I take it!'