Homebuyer Comedy Fan Gifts

For sale - 50 off.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Pest Control

'Is the fire included?'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

Affordable housing

Hey! Built-ins! Carpenter Ants: Best-Case Scenario.

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

Catchment Area for Teachers

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

"Looks like housing starts are up."

'Fancy living here with the in-laws until we find a place of our own?'

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

Sign reads - For Sale Still Under A Million.

'Are you sure now is the best time to buy an inflatable house?'

'Well it was here yesterday... the owner might of taken it down for security reasons'

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

"It's all I could get."

A sign outside a house reads "For sale"; the house next door also has a sign that reads "Me too".

On shirt--You must make this much to afford this place.

"Honey, don't get upset, but it looks like someone's in your parking space again."

'I've been trying to buy a condo in Vancouver! They say that real estate prices are going through the roof! At least that's how my agent explained the hole in the ceiling.'

Renting is so expensive these days. Why don't you move back with your parents? Good idea, except...they're still living with their parents.

"And this is where the murders took pl—... I mean, this is your bedroom."

"Either the house was built on a flood plain..."

'I'm having real trouble getting on the property ladder...'

"I know the government's carrying part of the risk, but I'm not sure Mr.Cameron knows much about plumbing."