Horror Hero Gifts

"Any side effects aside from ringing in the ears?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Love at First Sight

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Transylvanian backpackers.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'... And this is my cellar.'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

Night of the Latkes

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Silence of the Chickens...

Night of the Zombonies.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

He looks so natural lying there...

Zombies.

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'