Horror Author Gifts

"What do you say we go to the Genius Bar and get a bite to eat?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Love at First Sight

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Ban on Free Speech

Thomas Mann.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Meet the author"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Victor Hugo

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"