Reading Horror Gifts

'Listen, I'm grateful to be alive at all, I just think it's shoddy work...I mean, would it have killed him to make the bolts flush with my neck?'

'I need you to change my mind on something.'

"Look―I said I was sorry!"

'Do you have any genetically altered food?'

'No, no - he isn't chasing me - we're jogging!'

'Bring me a brain with no baggage!'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Love at First Sight

Edgar Allen Poe

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Night of the Latkes

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Chiller Theatre

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Dead Funny

Night of the Zombonies.

Silence of the Chickens...

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"I'm the bad guy..."

He looks so natural lying there...