Horoscopes Gifts

'And now over to Mrs Miggins for our financial forecasts...'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'There's a flaw in your experimental design. All the mice are libras.'

'A lot of rubbish. We Leos aren't that easily fooled.'

'Here's mine, water dominates, dress warm as you enter a chilly phrase...'

You are no longer in jeopardy.

'Far out! How did you pick me as a leo?'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"You're a lesbian, how nice, I'm a pisces"

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'I told you I refuse to be born today. I don't want to be Aries.'

'Your stars say, don't have any opinions today, what do you think? I'll tell you tomorrow.'

'Happy 2015.'

Today will start off with an interesting twist.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

"Well it's ironic given that I'm actually a Capricorn."

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

Tomorrow.

You are successful in knocking down barriers.

Someone with tremendous drive will leave you with a lasting impression.

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

Consider yourself lucky. Nobody has let you down for days!

'According to this rubbish I'm going on a long journey.'

Last night I met an interesting guy online. He's an Aries with a trust fund rising.

Nostradamus.

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

Pisces/fish

Astrological accidents.

"My birthday is actually in September, but I've always identified as an Aries."

"This isn't easy for me. I'm an Aries."

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

"It looks like we might all be able do a brunch on a Saturday three months from now."

"No, no, no! Stop right there! According to my horoscope, I'm supposed to have a good day!"

You'll no longer be on the outside looking in. Dominant Leo plays key role.