Hopscotch Enthusiast Gifts

Little girl dissappointed that hopscotch isn't olympic sport

Mass Shootings in US Schools

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

"I was wondering if you could recommend a good 'hoppy' beer?"

Rabbit Punch

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

The Babe calls his shot.