Hopscotch Enthusiast Pillows

Little girl dissappointed that hopscotch isn't olympic sport

Mass Shootings in US Schools

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The King of what?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Rabbit Punch

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

"I was wondering if you could recommend a good 'hoppy' beer?"

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'