Scotch Lover Pillows

"This 12-year-old malt...it's very small for it's age!"

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Wine? Laddie, he'll have my attention when he can change water into Scotch!"

'Another Scotch?'

'Water! Water! Scotch! Water!'

'Has anyone handed in a case of Scotch?'

'I'll have a stiff Scotch.'

The Angel's Share

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

Scottish party

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"He never passes by without a mischievous smile."

Scientist seen on loch.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

From the No.1 best seller, 'Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Scotland.'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Latest Aye Phone

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Robert Burns

Man wearing a kilt carrying roses.

Welcome to Scotland...

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.