Playful Scotch Enthusiast Gifts

'Hey, bartender! This scotch is watered down!'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Och lye the news'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'Jock's a real gentleman as far as we sheep are concerned... He knows how to play the bagpipes, yet doesn't!'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'The bloke with the violin is on holiday.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Scot holding a heart.

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Scot country dancing,

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

Welcome to Scotland...

The Angel's Share

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'Another Scotch?'

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"Is that neat whisky?"

'Not one customer all day! What's the matter with this corner?'

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."

"Scotch and water, *hic* scotch and water..."

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

You can kiss me later