Hook Philosophers Gifts

Worm hiding behind hook.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Fish talking about fisherman

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"If Einstein is correct, when we get back, my car will have been double parked for 320 years."

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

Why is it the universe keeps expanding but there's never any room in my closet?

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing.

The controversy of ROW VS WAIT: 'Row, to find fish!'

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Woman on scales.

'Which would be cheaper, let bullies continue to take my lunch money or take karate lessons?'

How does she get her grass so green?

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Why the Dinosaurs really died out: 'Dang...They're too ugly to have sex with and too disgusting to eat... Let's kill them.'

"In the beginning" --- Is that a great narrative hook or what!

"Just fetch, don't ask why."

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"Yes, their lives changed when they won the lottery and bought a mansion, but not mine: I'm still not allowed in the house..."

"Enlightenment can be yours if you are able to visualize the bone yet still the tail."