Hoof Whisperer Gifts

'He's a lousy horseshoer and he's ruining your horse's feet,...

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Licensed Therapist

"No no, I said sit!!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

Barks in code.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

'Bert's dog training.'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Dog Dreams