Honk Humorist Gifts

"Those in favour, honk!"

"You're going to hate yourself."

No Soliciting

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Inflatable Duck Boat

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'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Cover story: Plant World.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

'Can I see your license,please?'

'..and one for the pot.'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"I prefer to think out of the box."

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"