Humor Honcho Gifts

"I prefer to think out of the box."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"Phew..I've been on my feet all day... How do you get these hooves off?"

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'

Crusty Bread

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

Swelling

"It's easy being a congressman once you let go of your grip of reality."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

"Ask me about my long face."

Bit on the Side

"Those in favour, honk!"

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

'Ooops, wrong door!'