Humor Honcho Pillows

"I prefer to think out of the box."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'This is getting to be too much for me. I'm thinking of becoming a middlebrow.'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

"Phew..I've been on my feet all day... How do you get these hooves off?"

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Swelling

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

"It's easy being a congressman once you let go of your grip of reality."

Crusty Bread

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

And balance with practice.

"Can I help it if my shoes don't last?"

"Ask me about my long face."

Bit on the Side

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

'The holes in this hay net are getting smaller! What are you trying to say buddy?!'

'Ooops, wrong door!'

"Those in favour, honk!"

'Do you think your owner will get that you're not in the mood to leave the field today?'