Hobo Humorist Gifts

Crusty Bread

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Emergency Hipster Beard

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"What other tricks does he need?"

Replacement Bus Spotters.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. IX

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"That's the preacher's dog."

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'Where's my horse?'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Gangsta wrap.

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Hipster Police Department

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

"I like a diet rich in surfers."