Honest Abe Fan T-Shirts

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Madoff and devil.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"The sweet smell of the leaves and the rain make fall such a refreshing time!"

'At least he's honest.'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

Crime - Punishment

REAL ALE for one pint only

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"I'M your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh Lenny."

'He's in witness protection.'

"I bet you thought that because you'd been castaway for forty years, you'd get off with your six month prison sentence."

"Anything you say can be used in a very exciting new true-crime podcast we're working on."

"Well, we've learned one thing from all this ? burglars shouldn't keep diaries."

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

"Stick around, pal. If paint samples from your wall match those found on the body on the sidewalk, we'll need to ask you a few more questions."

"He's about your size. Peg-leg. Seen him?"

"My son is a saint - he's always cooperating with the authorities."

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.