Homeowners Association Leader Gifts

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"The pH level seems a little off."

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

Homeless count.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

House hunting is cruel.

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"Decaf for me, Peter."

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"I want you both to know that I'm unhappy about the way things are run around here, and there are going to be some changes made..."

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."