Homeowners Association Leader Gifts

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

"The pH level seems a little off."

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

Homeless count.

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

House hunting is cruel.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

"I want you both to know that I'm unhappy about the way things are run around here, and there are going to be some changes made..."

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

"Decaf for me, Peter."

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'