Homeowner Husband Gifts

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Gigot de sept heures."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

"The pH level seems a little off."

'How should I know how things are at home, I moved into the pub a month ago.'

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'