House Husband Gifts

"Yes, there is a guaranteed full refund if your husband is still not doing the dishes in two weeks."

'I know it's short notice, dear, but I'm bringing my pimp home for dinner.'

He must have suffered a severe knock on the head

'Hi honey, I'm homo.'

Shepherd and eurydice

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Butterfly Woman

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"What's a patent?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Demure lady with gloves

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"We've made great progress!"

International Women's Day

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Talk nerdy to me."