House Husband T-Shirts

"Yes, there is a guaranteed full refund if your husband is still not doing the dishes in two weeks."

'I know it's short notice, dear, but I'm bringing my pimp home for dinner.'

He must have suffered a severe knock on the head

'Hi honey, I'm homo.'

Shepherd and eurydice

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Butterfly Woman

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

International Women's Day

Demure lady with gloves

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"What's a patent?"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.