Home Value Humorist Gifts

Little Investment on the Praire

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

An exaggeration of estate agents

Mouse real estate!

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"I've downsized."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"Efficiency tombs available"

Carpet Cows

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."