Home Value Humorist Pillows

Little Investment on the Praire

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

Yard Sale

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

Mouse real estate!

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

Carpet Cows

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Efficiency tombs available"

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"I've downsized."

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."