Home Tidying Wizard Gifts

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"I'm making him take a spin class."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

'I've organised the bathroom.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

Decluttering. . .

Super glue hoovering

Cleaning service on skates.

Brick Red Paint...

After a lifetime of chasing that elusive creature, Alvin stopped to reassess his time management skills.

'House calls can make you feel worse.'

While you're down there, Hon, see if we got the Belle Boudoir catalog.

"How many times did I tell you? Don't put the outdated chargers in the drawer for broken headphones."

"They send me in after the works done to handle any complaints."

Why Nature Abhors A Vacuum

'Well make up your mind, is it in or out?'

"For my next trick, I will make this piano my parents left me disappear by finding someone in the area who actually wants a piano, has a truck, and will pick it up for free."

"Thankfully my disorder comes across as being perfect."

"I see you're on another wiping frenzy, Tia Carmen."

"So. . . you're back!"

'I always seem to be straightening...I wonder if my mother is secretly sending in customers.'

"You are so organized!"

"Shall I toss these half-dead batteries, or put them in a device we don't use and let them die with dignity?"

Duct Cleaning

'You've never heard of 'prop wash'?'

"That's okay, dear, I'll do the dishes."

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

"I need a smaller brush-head to get between his feet and the armchair."

Vacuuming.

How the cords get all tangled up when you're away.