Home Tidying Wizard Mugs

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"I'm making him take a spin class."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'I've organised the bathroom.'

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

Decluttering. . .

Super glue hoovering

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

Cleaning service on skates.

Brick Red Paint...

"Parting the clutter in your room isn't the same as cleaning it, Moses."

After a lifetime of chasing that elusive creature, Alvin stopped to reassess his time management skills.

'House calls can make you feel worse.'

"How many times did I tell you? Don't put the outdated chargers in the drawer for broken headphones."

While you're down there, Hon, see if we got the Belle Boudoir catalog.

"They send me in after the works done to handle any complaints."

'Well make up your mind, is it in or out?'

"For my next trick, I will make this piano my parents left me disappear by finding someone in the area who actually wants a piano, has a truck, and will pick it up for free."

"So. . . you're back!"

"Thankfully my disorder comes across as being perfect."

Why Nature Abhors A Vacuum

'I always seem to be straightening...I wonder if my mother is secretly sending in customers.'

"I see you're on another wiping frenzy, Tia Carmen."

"You are so organized!"

Duct Cleaning

'You've never heard of 'prop wash'?'

"Shall I toss these half-dead batteries, or put them in a device we don't use and let them die with dignity?"

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

Elevator Company: In, Out and Down/Up Desk Organizers.

"That's okay, dear, I'll do the dishes."

"I need a smaller brush-head to get between his feet and the armchair."

Vacuuming.