Home Security Expert T-Shirts

'Do you mind if I borrow some of your ideas?'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

No Soliciting

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Nuclear Security Summit

Statue of Security

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

'Do you hear someone shouting at us?'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Dictator, Interrupted

The Costs Of Doing War.

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

How to create a password you can remember...

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

The world of surveillance.

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Mouse security camera.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

The bulb family leaves for vacation