Home Security Buff T-Shirts

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'I'll put a report out. We find though that when keys go missing, usually they're in the most obvious spot.'

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

Portable Privacy Fence

'My masters have upgraded the security system: There's a ten-digit passcode on the cat-flap now...'

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'Have we made a real effort to know the neighbors?'

'My master decided I am to be an outdoor cat. That's why I called a locksmith. I want a set of keys.'

"Forget about cameras and alarms, this little beauty is our 'set and forget' home security system. . ."

"Hi honey, I'm home."

Gun Rights

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll leave you to it."

'Burying my bones was not safe enough option for me...'

'Are you sure you lost the fingernail clippers?'

A Surprise for the Cat Burglar

'Prowlers Welcome.'

Beware of wireless home security system.

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

'No, there's no dog. It's the latest in home security systems.'

"I'm the temp."

Bathroom privacy options: A guide.

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

High security Santa's grotto

No Soliciting

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Aggression/Security

The Best Defense