Home Security Expert Gifts

'Do you mind if I borrow some of your ideas?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

No Soliciting

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Statue of Security

Nuclear Security Summit

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

The Costs Of Doing War.

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'Do you hear someone shouting at us?'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

How to create a password you can remember...

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

Mouse security camera.

The world of surveillance.

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

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