Home Security Enthusiast Gifts

'Good evening!! I'm doing a survey on home security!!'

"You look nothing like you did through the peephole."

The Hansons' decision to buy an attack spider finally paid off.

warning signs on a house

'Well, did you open a door to see if he wanders back out?'

'Who are you?'

'Actually it's a fake, but it discourages solicitors.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

The owner is motivated.

Beware the Dog

'With a bell like that it must work...even if he isn't home!'

Let's Face It: One room isn't enough. . . Your family deserves the new Panic Decompression Suite!

"The noise has stopped. Did you sort it out?"

"Why can't we have a proper burglar alarm?"

"The game's over. Will you switch it back to our home security cam?"

'For goodness sake, Larry, the spare key is under the mat.'

'Your father installed a security system.'

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

Beware of Dog - Also cholesterol and smoking!

"How did you get past the motion sensor?"

"This is not what I had in mind when I got you as a watch dog!"

"It made more sense just to get a real fence and an invisible dog."

"He's finally installing our security system."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"If you don't want anyone in your room, you could have just put up a sign."

"Hello sir - I'm from your energy supplier. . ."

"Whenever I use a camera doorbell, I feel like I'm poking our host in the eye."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

"Honey! Wake up. We heard a noise downstairs!"

"My dad put in a new security system."

"Looks like we did't get the screens up none too soon, Pa."

Peep Hole

Can I see some ID? I'm your husband, you dope.

"So your lordship, this burglar you caught - where is he now?"