Home Security Nerd Gifts

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

No Soliciting

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

Mouse security camera.

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'Your father installed a security system.'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'Hello, security.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.