Home Security Nerd Gifts

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

No Soliciting

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Mouse security camera.

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'Your father installed a security system.'

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'Hello, security.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'Not only is he a good hunting dog he's a good watch dog.'

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"