Home Security Enthusiasts Gifts

Peephole for the blind.

"you can feel secure knowing that you have your own personal deterrent?"

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'Where was the TSA?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

No Soliciting

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.