Home Security Specialist T-Shirts

Mouse security camera.

'Morning, ma'am. I'm here to install your security system.'

"Beware of everything."

A Surprise for the Cat Burglar

'But sir! That's the best granite, no burglar could get through that.'

'They're not home. Leave your card and I'll make sure they get it.'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

No Soliciting

"I see you've security marked your property."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

AI Safety Officer

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'Your father installed a security system.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'Ed, see if you can find out why Henderson, Morgan and Caldwell are building a moat around their building.'

'Hello, security.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"My dad put in a new security system."