Home Security Strategist T-Shirts

'He's forgotten his key again!'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

No Soliciting

The Not-So Smart Meter

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

Mouse security camera.

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

'Your father installed a security system.'

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'Hello, security.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"I just installed a home security monitor."