Home Run Hitter Gifts

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Maybe Papi will believe it was a drive-by pitch."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

The Giamatti era

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

"If you wear these caps backwards, they keep the sun out of your eyes."

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Well done, I hear you hit your target. Yes, a week for two in Hawaii.

'Anyone can get to school on time if he tries hard enough, Eddie.'

David Ortiz a.k.a Big Papi

"A little high and inside."

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"Man, he pulled that one out of thin air!"

'Now look what you've done. I told you that I wanted a fair fight... making fun of his trunks is hitting below the belt.'

'Hi Hon, just calling to let you know I'm on my way home.'

'Wait ... Nobody brought a ball? Now what are we going to do for all eternity?'

J. Willems - batting champ, home run champ, tested negative for steroids.

Knocked it out of the park

'A meeting of the 'Bandy' association for the promotion of 'Hockey on the ice.''

How a big hitter perceives the world, various objects outside of pitch numbered as points

There's nothing like a good workout!

'Yo, coach! I think I found that promising young fielder with the hot bat who suddenly disappeared in the playoffs last fall!'

"Stay fair, stay fair, c'mon, stay in... Wait, shouldn't I be running?!"

Oscar Gamble

'Hi, mom, are you watching my home run trot?'

'I hadn't realized the job market was so bad.'