Heavenly Hitters Gifts

'Wait ... Nobody brought a ball? Now what are we going to do for all eternity?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Angel doing the hula hoop.

"Well if it isn't Mr J.R.Hartley!"

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

We never fly anywhere anymore.

'I'm afraid we already have a St. Bernard up here.'

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"To play it safe, I still take one aspirin every other day."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Supply was out of harps.

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

Gods has caged angel as pet.

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

A stranger in paradise.

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'

"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea for you to have left everything to science."

'The big guy wants to see you.'

"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that! My last words were pretty naf."

'Dr. Vitsky, D.D.S. ... Yes, here you are. Go right on ahead through those pearly whites up there.'