Heavenly Players Gifts

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Well if it isn't Mr J.R.Hartley!"

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

Heaven

Jenga!!!

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'I'm afraid we already have a St. Bernard up here.'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"To play it safe, I still take one aspirin every other day."

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

Supply was out of harps.

Gods has caged angel as pet.

Football Angel

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

A stranger in paradise.

"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea for you to have left everything to science."

'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'The big guy wants to see you.'

"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that! My last words were pretty naf."

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

God has an attack of vertigo

'Dr. Vitsky, D.D.S. ... Yes, here you are. Go right on ahead through those pearly whites up there.'

"Free wifi and unlimited refills are nice, but frankly, I expected more."

'I don't know. I woke up with it after preaching last weeks sermon...'

"So you can take it with you!"