Home Hero Pillows

'Love your renovations.'

'Your husband is on line two. He says it's an emergency. He wants to know how to work the microwave.'

man juggling career, home and children

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'The plunger had defected to the enemy.'

'If you want your husband to help out more, buy this one.'

Maid

"There's no rest for the wicked."

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

"He's one of those rare hybrids. He works and does half the housework."

"I can't go out right now. It's cleaning day and my bucket list has a mop in it."

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

"Philip has questioned my stewardship."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Mom, how old was I when dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

Castle Cat Flap

"Just six months ago, he was completely feral."

Come dine with me!

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"She's been so creative lately."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Pajama Day 743

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

I love embroidery

'Get up and put your house slippers on! - You'll be late for home school!'

'Caw blimey!'

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"