Home Project Hero Pillows

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"My Graham is so creative, you wouldn't believe he makes all our furniture."

Quick on the Draw - (DIY)

"You say you did this plumbing yourself?"

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

Non-Drip ?

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

A holiday at home

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'Quick, press control Z!'

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

Lazy plumber.

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'