Home Builder Hero Pillows

'I leave in three weeks.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

Non-Drip ?

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

A holiday at home

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

Dummies Books.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'Quick, press control Z!'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

Lazy plumber.

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Bob’s Museum

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

Pete's new smart hammer adds insult to injury.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

The Fuse

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"