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"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

'Have you no common scents?!'

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Pheromones.

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

"What pheromone are you using?"

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

"Does she like to smell strange?"

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

'This one will bring him to his knees. And this one will start the proposal.'

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

"I've just invented the first thought controlled perfume. It makes scents when you think about it."

"I'm due in court today. Do you have anything that smells like community service?""

'Do you have a perfume that will make me smell thinner?'

'It's hunting season again. Got anything that smells like fresh venison?'

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'

"Honey, they just can't resist it."

'It was a personality clash form the very beginning. My perfume versus his after shave!'

"Whore of Babylon?"

'He'll love this one. It has the scent of a baseball glove.'

'Now, this one gets about a hundred males to the gallon.'

"...And it has a pheromone which will make him submissive to you."

"Do you have one called date?"

"Yes, but it's naturally toxic."