Perfume Shop Owner Gifts

"It smells like old money."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Labor Day Flowers

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

Pheromones.

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

Excess

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

"These are the least elegant one's in stock!"

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

"I'm due in court today. Do you have anything that smells like community service?""

"These are just as good as, if not better than, jelly beans."

'Do you have any of the perfume that makes me look like Angelina Jolie?'

"Whore of Babylon?"

"I've just invented the first thought controlled perfume. It makes scents when you think about it."

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'

"Honey, they just can't resist it."

'Do you have a perfume that will make me smell thinner?'

Today, business expert, Professor Ernie, will answer questions. The first is from an upholsterer who has lots of business but loses money on every order. The problem is that you're covering everything except your costs! The owner of a baseball team wants to know if you he should re-sign the team's best player, the league leader in double and triples. I don't think he can afford the high base salary. And a perfume company is struggling to survive. Their strategy has been to only produce exo