Perfume Shop Owner Gifts

"It smells like old money."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Labor Day Flowers

'Have you no common scents?!'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

Pheromones.

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

Excess

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

"These are the least elegant one's in stock!"

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

"I'm due in court today. Do you have anything that smells like community service?""

"These are just as good as, if not better than, jelly beans."

'Do you have a perfume that will make me smell thinner?'

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'

"Honey, they just can't resist it."

"I've just invented the first thought controlled perfume. It makes scents when you think about it."

"Whore of Babylon?"

'I need a new scent.'