Home Energy Detective Gifts

My House - A thermal image from reception class.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I found the termites!'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'The roof needs icing.'

"Homes on Holmes"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Now if we can just figure out how to use this to power that.

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

"Here's the problem."

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"What do you mean you wouldn't sweat the water in the basement."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

Plasma Ball

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Nuclear energy.

Benjamin Franklin.

The builder had said there would be some settling after the house was finished, so really the home owners shouldn't complain.

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."