Home Maintenance Detective Gifts

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Man using to much bug spray

Yardless: Please help

'I found the termites!'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"The trees are laughing at us."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'The roof needs icing.'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

The household cavalry

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Timber preservation

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Homes on Holmes"

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."